Posted Wednesday, June 26, 2013 // 0 comments (+)If there was someone who told you that you could not do something, what would you do? It's the only thing you want to do and you know you can do it. I know I'm always trying to be the best person I can be even though I feel at times, it is very hard. It's easy to sympathize with others and put yourself in their shoes, in my opinion. It's a simple process and when you are understanding, everything falls into place. When you're empathetic, you're supposed to receive positive results. However, if that was the case, then I shouldn't be frustrated and panicking about the future and what will happen to me. I always act as if I'm so sure of what I'm doing and I try to maintain a positive outlook. It's because I want everything to be alright. I want to feel that security and I want to know that what I'm doing is going to hurt someone else.
This is the hard part though. Someone else thinks the same thing. Someone else is beyond sure of himself or herself. But both of you are on opposite sides. What are you supposed to do when you come upon a person that you cannot empathize with? I'm failing miserably and I do not know what I can do to help the situation. Well, I'm good at helping other people and solving their problems, but I'm terrible at my own. It's funny. How do I find a way out? When the other person fails to see through your eyes and what's right, you've got nowhere to turn to. I didn't know or think that I'd be so incapable. I didn't think that others would see me as weak or foolish or unintelligent. I didn't think that could happen when I know that I'm strong and prepared and ready. I am self-sufficient and independent.
I don't want to wait for doors to open. I want to open them myself, but opportunity is hard to find, although not limited. I want to keep pushing myself, but I also want to stop. I feel a plethora of emotions at the same moment and I might just explode if I fail to sort them out. I despise being looked down on, everyone does. It's as if I'm not allowed to have a brain and I'm not allowed to think for myself although that's all I've ever done. I despise having others hold me back, pulling me back, stabbing me in the back, looking back, never coming back, not having my back. Yet, I feel a sense of relaxation coming upon me and I want to breathe. I want to breathe. I have to remember how to. My inner self tells me to calm down because everything will be okay.
I'm struggling to not make my struggle my identity.
By the way, the title is completely unrelated unless you can find a way to symbolize it. Good luck.
AboutOh hello. I am Chia and I am 18. Welcome to my humble abode of inspiration and creativity. Unicorns and any form of art and expression are my favorite things. I am a beauty/fashion/arts enthusiast and I feel too much. This is my diary.